In 2016, re-creating a photo they found from college, Pickering (left) and Arentsen (right)
In 2014, Arentsen, who worked for seven years in advertising and three years in retail management before leaving to be a stay-at-home mom, and Pickering, who works at the American Cancer Society, discovered through Facebook that they were both in the midst of preparing for motherhood.
This kicked off a close friendship that neither of them expected. The support that they found in each other while expecting and then becoming new mothers created a deep connection. Now, they don’t go a day without talking to each other.
With Arentsen living in Huntington Beach, CA, and Pickering living in Dartmouth, MA, they hadn’t actually met in person—until this year.
The pair talked with Connections to tell us what it was like to meet each other—as friends—for the first time, and how each of their lives has been impacted by the other.
Connections: How did your friendship evolve?
Jana Arentsen: It’s funny how many people say social media has ruined us as a society because, for me, it’s quite the opposite. Until 2014, Kelsey was just a “Facebook friend” who I went to college with.
Kelsey Pickering: I have a couple of memories and photos with Jana from Cabrini, but we had different groups of friends and she was a year older. Fast forward eight years later …
JA: We discovered that we were both expecting boys, we had the same due date (Sept. 9, 2014), and we were posing in the same maternity clothing on our Facebook pages.
KP: Through our conversations we soon realized that this wasn’t going to be just your normal friendship—this was some sort of soulmate friendship situation. Is that even a thing?
JA: We texted daily and shared nursing stories, poop stories, late nights, and early mornings, her life as a working mom and mine as a stay-at-home mom.
Connections: What are your thoughts on the sense of community at Cabrini and how did that play into your eventual friendship?
KP: This was one of the reasons why I chose Cabrini—that community feel. I came from a small high school in Wilmington, DE, and I knew I would fit right in at Cabrini. It has the friendliest people, and the way I always describe Cabrini to others is that “Everyone kind of knows everyone.”
JA: One of the things I loved most was that it felt like home to me the second I toured the campus during my junior year of high school in New Jersey, where I grew up. My four years were spent with like-minded people, being inspired by professors who really cared as I created my own path. I think one of the reasons that Kelsey and I reconnected so quickly was that we are both like-minded and open to whatever or whoever comes our way.
Connections: When did you and Kelsey meet up for the first time after Cabrini?
KP: This was by far the best moment ever! Through a family friend, I was lucky enough to get three VIP tickets to “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.” I knew I was going to take my mom and I instantly told Jana that she was coming with me. She had to; this was going to be our moment to meet up after 11+ years.
JA: A major highlight of my life was meeting my best friend, my soul sister. I gave her the biggest hug as tears filled my eyes and believe I said something like, “You’re real!”
KP: We immediately snapped at least 15 pictures with each other so we could post them on social media and possibly confuse Cabrini people.
Arentsen and Pickering meet as friends for the first time in a hotel in Universal City in 2016, the night prior to attending “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.”
Pickering’s mom Mary Kuhwald, Arentsen, and Pickering with their VIP passes before “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”
Arentsen’s and Pickering’s 15 seconds of fame
Connections: What do you value in your friendship?
KP: I value Jana’s open heart, open mind, honesty, encouragement, and kindness, and she’s done so much in her young life that inspires me. I would say the thing that I value most in our friendship is our ability to share on a daily basis our struggles in our different roles in life, she as a stay-at-home mom and me as a working mom. No job is easier than the other, and no job is better than the other. We speak the truth to each other and are just plain real on what we experience day to day.
JA: I truly would not be the person I am today, the mom I am today, without Kelsey. Her patience, love, encouragement, and strength have helped carry me through some of the most trying moments in parenthood.
KP: There hasn’t been a day that has gone by since April 2014 that we haven’t texted or spoken to each other. Our husbands even make comments like, “Oh, you must be texting Jana” and vice versa.
JA: Let me leave you with a very true and necessary quote from Amy Poehler’s book “Yes, Please!” that sums up our friendship: “Every mother needs a wife who takes care of her and helps her become a better mother.” Kelsey is that wife for me. I already have an amazing husband.
KP: She was put into my life for a reason at the exact time I needed her to be there. She has been a huge support system for me over the past year and a half and I’m so thankful we have Cabrini that truly brought us together.
Their children, who are partially responsible for bringing these two friends together, will meet each other in summer 2016.
Coincidentally, but maybe not surprisingly, Arentsen and Pickering both chose names that begin with B for their sons: Brandt (Pickering) and Benjamin (Arentsen).